ENG 110 H2
Journal #2
I have been writing essays for as long as I can remember, whether they were book reports in middle school or essays that took a whole semester to complete, with several revisions and drafts. I always listen to the teachers revisions and over the years that has made me a better writer. I have never been the strongest writer, I struggle with using strong vocabulary and grammatical errors; but with every draft and revision, my essay improves.
My senior year we had a huge speech to complete, it was called a “senior speech”. This speech was presented in front of the entire school, it was a big deal. I had about 8 drafts for my speech advisors to revise, and I listened to their revisions and I worked very hard to get to a final draft to present. This was a speech I worked on for about 2 months, I met with my advisors to work on revisions and I practiced for countless hours. My speech was successful, and that was the most effort I have ever put into anything I have written.
Other than my “senior speech”, I did not have to write many essays, senior year. I took one class that required only 2-3 page essays (assigned a week prior to due date), and there were no drafts or revisions. If I’m being honest, I would always write these essays the night before, or even the day it was due! I would somehow manage to receive at least an 80 on these essays, and that was good enough for me since it was the second semester of senior year, and I was accepted into college.
To conclude my “drafting experience”, I have had essays throughout high school that I have worked very hard on and spent many hours revising and drafting. I have also had essays that I have put very little effort into, writing the night before with only one draft. I have had English classes that require several drafts for each essay, but I have also had English classes were I wrote only a couple of essays. I would say I am not the strongest writer, receiving about an 84, on average; but I would like to improve my writing skills this year.
Grace Frohock
Journal #3
ENG 110 H2
I have always tried to use quotes when writing. Quotes can be very important when writing because they can show your reader how other writers agree or relate to your claim. After reading “The Art of Quoting”, I soon realized sometimes I use quotes that do not relate back to my argument, I don’t introduce the author of the quote, or I haven’t given an explanation after using a quote. Reading “The Art of Quoting” chapter helped me learn 2 important things. When using quotes, always introduce the writer or author because your readers may not know who you are quoting. I also learned, that after stating a quote you must explain that quote and show how it supports your argument and ultimately relates back to your claim. When you don’t explain your referenced quote properly, the book called this a “hit-and-run quote”, this is a fitting name because it is when a quote is randomly thrown into your writing and there is no introduction or explanation, leaving the reader hanging. The chapter gave many examples of how to properly introduce a quote when writing, such as “According to X,____” or “X agrees with when she writes ____”. The chapter also gave examples of how to explain a quote such as, “X’s point is that _____”, or “The essence of X’s argument is that_____”. After reading the chapter, I found it helpful to always remember to introduce the quote, write the quote, then explain the quote (relating it back to your argument). I will use these techniques to improve my writing, and I found this chapter helpful.
Grace Frohock
9/15/18
Journal #4
ENG 110 H2
The story begins describing Rhinehart’s journey to his invention of Soylent, calling it “the end of food”. Rob Rhinehart was one of three men who had been working on creating inexpensive-cell-phone towers, but the plan ultimately failed. Struggling to bring in an income, eating a decent and healthy meal three times a day was difficult; he eventually saw no purpose in eating a traditional meal. This was the beginning of Soylent, a beige, goo-like, food replacement. Soylent contained all the nutrients required for survival, it saved time, money, helped people lose weight, creating the “healthy American”. Soylent began to grow, and people made their own DIY Soylent, sharing their recipes online. Rhinehart’s reason wasn’t for fame or money, he wanted to genuinely help people, and better society. Rhinehart’s plan was to create a world were farms and factories were not needed; he wanted to replace those meals we always forget about, not destroy Christmas dinner with our family. There are many positives to Soylent but also many negatives, possibly making it dangerous.
The idea of drinking a food replacement a few times a day to give you a healthier body, save time, and save money; sounds great but after reading this story I’m glad such a thing does not exist. Rhinehart’s intentions were good but ultimately he would have destroyed the economy; there would have been no farms or factories, and the food industry would have been obliviated. People would have lost their jobs and ironically have to live off of Soylent, because that is all they could afford to eat. Was this was Rhinehart’s secret plan? To put the food industry out of business, and force people to buy Soylent? After reading the story, I think that Soylent would be too much of a drastic change that the world couldn’t handle.
Grace Frohock
Professor Miller
ENG H2
9/20/18
Journal #5
In this chapter of “They Say I Say, it expressed “the importance of not only expressing your ideas (“I say”) but of presenting those ideas as a response to some other person or group (“they say”).” Only telling the reader’s your point of you does not make a strong argument to help support your thesis. This is more that just asserting your opinion, it is important to write in a easy, organized, and conversational way. This makes it easy for the reader to understand the point you are trying to make, instead of using difficult and obscure language. If you do not include what “they say”, readers wont understand what prompted you write your argument.
The text also discusses the importance of not being afraid to challenge other people’s views, if you may not agree with them. People think “playing it safe” is the way to succeed by agreeing with everyone else, but causing controversy to provoke new ideas can lead to more successful arguments.
The text also provided templates to use when criticizing. I found these templates helpful because they help you to disagree without being disagreeable. The text makes a helpful point, when it says that using these templates is not plagiarism. This is because using phrases such as “a controversial issue” are so commonly used, they have just become generic.
Being able to use “they say”, “I say” takes practice and will be easier to write and use with time. I found this chapter to be helpful because it promotes the importance of challenging the world and expressing your ideas.
Journal #6
Comments on Gunnar’s Essay:
Comments on Labinas Essay:
Journal #7 Podcast: https://youtu.be/Pu9Ydwpnzc0
Grace Frohock
Journal #8
In this chapter of “They Say, I Say”, I learned that explaining why you are trying to make a point is just as important as making the point. The chapter begins by describing a time when someone was trying to make a complicated, detailed, and well thought out point. The lecture had one problem, the entire time the audience was thinking “why?”. What was the reason for this argument? What was all this information relating back to? It is important for writers to explain what they are responding to, either before or after offering a response. I learned that when stating what “they say” it is important to summarize their information, do not overstate their argument. If you overstate their argument it will stray away from your argument.
The chapter then continued by providing templates for writers to use when portraying their argument and others. I found these templates helpful for introducing standard views, most things people know. It was also helpful for when introducing information that is implied or assumed. When introducing an ongoing debate, I learned that by stating what “they say” before what you say, “it can help discover where you stand instead of committing to one position”.
The information I found most helpful in this chapter was what a “return sentence” is. A return sentence is a sentence that brings back the readers to your thesis, it reminds them of the point you are trying to make. Readers won’t be able to understand your response unless you keep reminding them of your claim.
Grace Frohock
Journal #9
This essay was one of the essays I have ever spent the most time revising. There were a lot of “global issue” revisions I needed to make to my first draft. These issues were issues I would not have seen unless I someone told me about them. I found suggestions about wording and adding detail so that the reader could understand the point I was trying to make the most helpful, and I spent the most time on these revisions. This drafting process was very different from the past essays I have written, I have never had peer review. I found peer review to be very helpful and it made my final essay a lot stronger, and well written than my first draft. I would even benefit from a second peer review to produce an even better essay! I made sure to carefully consider the suggestions that were given to me, and also spend a large amount of time revising my essay. Even if that meant a few hours at a time. I thoughtfully completed the drafting process to create a successful and strong essay about Soylent!
Grace Frohock
Journal #11
In this chapter of “They Say, I Say”, It discussed the importance of looking for the view or views that motivated the author to write their thesis, the “they say” proportion. It is also important to note how the author portrays the views of others, and how they motivate their argument. The chapter began by stating it is key to digger deeper into the authors writing process and ask questions like, “What other argument is the writer responding to?”, “Is the writer disagreeing or agreeing with something, and if so what?” “What is motivating the writer’s argument?”, etc. Instead of interpreting the author’s argument at the surface, see it as a way to provoke new/other arguments. I found it helpful when the book suggested looking for a change in voice when the author writes, you will then know where the author’s argument is and where they are summarizing someone else’s argument. The book also gave another helpful tip, which was to imagine the author in a room talking with others rather than sitting at a desk writing alone. The author may also use language that is hard to understand and may affect the way you interpret the reading. I found it helpful when the book explained how to translate the author’s text into your own words, without allowing it to affect your own views. By translating the text into your own words you will be able to understand what the author is trying to say. If you are going to argue with the author’s thesis, it is important to show that you have really considered and understood their views and can ultimately summarize what they are saying. This chapter was very helpful because it showed me how to read further into the author’s text and where their argument came from, and what to do if you can’t understand the text.
Journal #12
Caitlin Doughty is a mortician who rises many pondering thoughts in this podcast. Her philosophy is that we should change the culture of death. She believes that society is too scared to handle the of the idea of death. She wants us to change the “rules of death” by handling the passing of loved ones in a new way.
She believes that families should be the ones to handle the body of their deceased loved ones, by cremating the bodies themselves because crematories are too industrial. She believes this will help us become more comfortable with death. This arises many tensions because people think that this method will erase all the good memories of their loved ones and be replaced by images of the corpse. Doughty argues that this will help families be more at peace with the death of their loved ones by handling their death.
Journal #13
The process of writing paper 2 was different than my paper 1 drafting process. I found paper 2 harder to write because we couldn’t voice our own opinion, we had to write about others views and tie them together to write a paper. My first draft of paper 2 felt incomplete because I hadn’t reached the conclusion and I wasn’t sure of my argument. I knew which “Food for Thought” essays I was going to use, within the first 4 days after receiving the assignment. I summarized each of my peers essays and Pollan’s article, then created a google doc with the summaries and ideas I wanted to include in my essay. After completing my first draft we did peer review. I did not find this as helpful as it was for paper 1. I feel it would have been more helpful to do a peer review for draft 2 instead of draft 1 of paper 2 because it was hard to review each other’s work when it was so far from completion. I didn’t find my comments on my first draft of paper 2 super helpful because I knew I was going to change the structure and view of my entire paper anyways. After finishing draft 2, I had still not reached my conclusion and I still felt that my paper was a mess. I met with Stephen and he gave me a few pointers on how I should continue my essay. Meeting with him helped a little and after doing what he told me, my essay became better. What really helped me was meeting with my english teacher, I felt he gave me very helpful tips. He told me I should reword my essay, organize my paper differently, and start working towards the conclusion(even though I didn’t think I was ready). I finally felt I had reached a structure I liked and could continue with, so that I could finish my essay. My draft 2 to final draft was dramatically different because I spent so many hours trying to create the best final draft I could. I spent the night before the paper was due reading over my essay and fine tuning before I turned it in. I feel confident in my essay and the amount of time I spent editing it.
Journal #14
November 4, 2018
My first journal essay only seemed to scratch the surface of David Foster Wallace’s “Consider the Lobster”. I talked about how Wallace comes to the conclusion that we value the lobsters life over ours because we cook and eat them. Although we may feel guilt and pain for the lobster, we will not change the ways of eating or cooking the lobster because it tastes so good. There is a huge Maine lobster fair where people celebrate and eat lobsters. While most people may see this as a good time, David Foster Wallace sees this as an opportunity to question our morals, values, and culture.
I found a deeper meaning to the text after reading it a few months after for a second time. Wallace uses the lobster to start to dig up a bigger question, without discussing it in his article. What are our values as human beings? Is human pain/suffering ok as long as we don’t have to see it, or deal with it? Is pain and suffering ok, as long as we benefit from it? Questions like these as what David Foster Wallace’s article was digging towards, When is pain and suffering “ok”, to us as human beings?
There are still things about his article that remain unclear. Once the reader comes to the bigger picture, where do we go from here? Because the reader must dig deeper into the text to realize Wallace’s true point, it is hard to understand where he wants to leave us after reading “Consider the Lobster”. Do we stop eating lobsters, and other meat? Do we find ways to end all suffering? Do we stop causing pain and suffering in our own lives?
Journal #16
November 8, 2018
In this reading of “They Say I Say”, Birkenstein tries to persuade the reader to include a “naysayer” when making an argument. I found many of the points she made beneficial, and I will use them from now on when I write. Most people may think by including a counterpoint in your argumentative essay it will only take away from it. The reading tells us that by including a “naysayer” it will only persuade the reader of your essay more. It will enhance your argument making it seem better than your counter-argument. You want your argument to seem like a conversation or a dialogue, not a one-sided argument. If you don’t include the “they say” you won’t seem open-minded. I agree with all of these points that Birkenstein makes and she continues with more helpful ideas. She provides helpful templates for how to introduce counter ideas with your own. She says writers of counter-ideas should be addressed with names such as, “skeptics, readers, or many”. You don’t want to support stereotypes so it is better to just keep the “naysayers” anonymous. Birkenstein makes a good point when she says, “Put yourself in the shoes of someone who disagrees with you”. When saying this she means that by thinking about what others may try to argue against your claim, it will help shape your argument and make it less weak by anticipation. I found all of the ways to incorporate someone else’s argument into your own beneficial and helpful.
Grace Frohock
Journal #18
November 18, 2018
My final draft of my essay is much different than my first drafted essay. In my first draft my thesis stated, “Author’s, Wallace, Herzog, and Forest give examples from their life that made them realize society is willing to identify the moral issues of killing innocent animals, but we aren’t willing to change unless we benefit”. My final draft’s thesis now states “Wallace, Herzog, and Foeroct all recognize the unspoken fact that society is willing to identify the moral issues of killing innocent animals, but we aren’t willing to change because meat has become a huge part of our culture.” When writing this essay I wasn’t sure where I was going with it, so I edited my thesis all the way up to the final draft. I realized what my claim was and edited my thesis based off that.
In my first draft I only used one author (Foeroct) to support my claim but now in my final draft I use and relate all 3 authors. All of these authors are related because they recognize giving up meat is giving up culture.I feel like adding more to the middle of my essay helped me support my claim with examples and quotes from the 3 texts. This was most of my editing work. I then concluded my essay with my opinions, including my morals and values.
My other edits to my essay included small grammatical corrections, citations of quotes, title, and a works cited page.
